You Jump.I Jump(Part 1)
My very first thought when I saw the view was.
"God.Didn't know Bishan looked so beautiful at night."
And who could blame me.
No normal person would come up to the roof of a HDB block at night.
Took a look at my watch.Especially when it was almost 2am.
........
Well.Unfortunately.I wasn't a normal person.Not tonight anyway.
I was here for a purpose.
A rather sinister one so to speak.
.......
Carefully.I walked to the edge of the roof and sat down.
Again.What fascinated me the most was the incredible view.
However.This time.
Adrenaline and fear was pumping thru my blood full steam.
What can I say.It's not everyday that you stare right down a drop 40 stories high.
Especially when you know that in a while.
You will be jumping right down to the very bottom.
Ending your life instantly.
Yup.Like I said.I was here for a reason.
I was here to end my life.
........
I could almost picture it.
At the very back page of tomorrow's Shin Min Daily.
There be a picture of me.And one of my body lying at the bottom of my block.
Covered by the famous black body bag of course.
And the headline would be titled."Teen commits suicide at the block where he resides."
And prob.There would be a picture of Mom and Dad.
Crying like the end of the world as the reporters interviewed them.
Asking them whether I was a troubled child.Whether I had relationship problems.Whether it was because of my results or performance at school.
And the worse thing would be.They would say they didn't know.They would say I had always been a happy kid.
One who had no problems with school.
And definitely no problems with relationship.Cause I didn't have one.
Or so they thought.
.........
If they had known.They would have probably have called me unfilial.
Which indeed I was.Unfilial.
Ending my life all because of a girl.
My life.Whom they had toiled and sweated for 15 yrs to painstakingly bring up.
"I'm sorry.Mom.Dad.But I really can't go on anymore."
She is my life.She has always been so for the past 2 yrs.
Indeed.It had not been easy keeping the relationship from my parents.
But somehow.We managed to make it this far.Despite all the difficulties
At least until about a week ago.
At the thought of this.My heart started hurting.Terribly.
How.How could she do this to me?
Nevermind.It doesn't matter now.Nothing does anymore.
I just need to give myself a tiny push.And then.
All the pain would be gone.
All the suffering would be over.
........
Again.I looked downwards.
It was quite a long way down.
But.I rather ended it quick then continue my present state of suffering.
And using sheer determination.I begin to edge myself slowly over the edge.
Sorry Mom.Sorry Dad.I know I let you down.But I really had no choice.So forgive m-
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
(Part 1-End)