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I feel really stupid.
And kinda angry with myself.
I've seriously screwed up my Maths Paper this time round.
And know what's even worse?
I KNEW HOW TO DO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.
Just because I didn't do enough tutorials to get enough practice.I couldn't finish the paper in time.
Man.Life sucks.
On a brighter note though.Glad that she's feeling much better now.
Chatted with her over MSN on Saturday.
In the end.
I really was thinking too much after all.
She probably just didn't want her friends to be worried about her.
That's why she chose not to talk.
Though I really kinda hope she'll treat me as a real friend and share her problems.
Been thru some pretty bad times alone and know how bad it feels.
Shucks.Life can be so unbearable at times.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Maybe it's just me.
Or maybe.She really is avoiding me.
Despite not having a handphone.It used to be so easy for us to meet and chat online.
And it was just 2 weeks back.
When we were still chatting like old friends.
Now it's as if we're total strangers.
I haven't seen her online since 2 weeks back.
Concidentally.I bumped into her at town yesterday.
And it felt really weird and all.
It was as if.Something was missing.Or completely gone.
Times' been pretty rough for her recently.
And worried as I am.I'm just a friend.So can't do much either.
Especially since she doesn't seem to want to talk.
Well.Maybe I'm thinking too much.
I need sleep.Lots of it.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
I recently cancelled my handphone.
Didn't really tell anyone about this either.
To those whom I've caused major inconvinience.I guess I can only apologize.
But I seriously needed some time out.
Besides.Other than the guys I always hang out with who has no problem contacting me till now.
Dun think I was really missed also la.Hah.
Well.Many things have happened recently.
And I'm beginning to feel tired.Really tired of it all.
Sometimes I really wonder how I've managed to survive so long with this stupid mentality and mindset of mine.
Karma as it seems.Has finally caught up with me.
And I'm currently being tossed around like a ragdoll by it.
And I'm really dreading the arrival of Monday.Which is tommorrow.
I dun wanna care about anything.Anymore.
What am i looking for in life?
I dun know anymore.
But all these aside.Went for a KTV session with Jue Shi,or rather part of the gang yesterday night.
As usual me being me,I wanted to sing in the hall and we did end up singing there.
And then someway in the middle of the session,my friend told me to turn around and look at the doorway.
Wel oh well.How small can the world be.The "Superstars" were there as well.
As usual.Wei Lian had his hand on what's that guy's name shoulder.Derrick and what's that other guy's name were both botak.For obvious reasons.Then there were a few other people whom I had no idea who they were.Well anyway.The only exciting point in this whole encounter was when we heard Derrick say.
"Shall we sing in the hall Wei Lian?"
I swore that almost killed me.If they had really did that.The I really wouldn't have been able to enjoy my night of singing at all.Luckily for me though.They chose to sing in a room in the end.
I mean.I do admit that they are great performers and certainly very good singers and all and that if they had sung in the hall,I would probably have been very impressed by them as well.However,deep down I feel that in the end.They're just fellow human beings like anyone of us and thus, the least we can do is to behave like a fellow human being and keep all our admiration for them within ourselves instead of behaving like a bunch of clowns, acting all flustered and excited around them and treating them as if they are gods or something.
Which was exactly what the couple at the table behind us and the waitresses were doing.
I mean seriously.What the hell man.The couple behind us were giggling like buffoons all the time they were there and what's worse, they chose to sing every single song that the "Superstars" sang in the competition.The waitresses were no better, whining to one another constantly."Let me serve them!Let me serve their room!"
Come on man.Dun degrade yourselves to boost the ego of such people,if they had an ego la.Working at a music school has made me realised that there are really a lot.And I mean a lot of talented people around who choose to keep a low profile and not show off their talents,be it singing or playing or composing.Unlike most people,they do harbour dreams of stardom but instead,simply appreciate music and the art of performing in the rarest form.
They are what I call.The true Superstars.