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I can only say one thing.
This guy is insanely good.
And bored.
Enjoy.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
The period between April & June..seems to be one of for me every year.
In fact.I can just imagine God sitting up there,flipping through my "trials and tribulations file" saying.
"Well.It's time.Let's see how far we can push Neo this time."
Ok.Maybe it's a bit childish to just blame everything on God so conveniently.
But honestly.I find no other possible explanation for this month to of such a big significance in my life each and every year.Especially this year and last.
Last year.There was her.And it hurt a lot..For a long time.In fact...I believe the wounds only healed completely recently.Only because I thought I finally found someone I could trust in once again.Sadly,I was wrong.And it almost cost me a friendship I really treasured.
This time round though.It wasn't the other party's fault.I was simply not ready.I thought I was.But I just wasn't.Which is why I feel really grateful that the two of us are still good friends now.Well.I guess God does cut some slack once in a while.
Perhaps...it was because of this incident that I realised I was really lacking motivation and drive in life at that point.In other words...I was slacking around so much that my brain wasn't even functioning in a rational way anymore.If only I was dedicated to other more important stuff in my life,such a thing probably won't have happened.Which was why I had begun to get back into the routine of getting back in shape recently.And also,putting more effort into my keyboard practice.Which was why I was beginning to think that my life was getting back into the normal pace.One that boring and repeatitve but yet stress free.
However.It is that period of the year after all.And I guess he was going to proceed with the plans he made for me...whether I like it or not.
This time round.I really think I'm going insane.Not just from the problems I'm currently facing.But more form the lack of sleep.
I can only say one thing.
The biggest tragedy in life is.
"The one that you care for doesn't care about you at all.And you don't know how to care for someone that cares for you."
God.Please.Really.
Gimme a break.
(Somehow.I really dun find my current problems anywhere remotely close to being caused by smoking.Which I'm currently only doing socially.Haven't smoke packs since that incident.Glad things are beginning to work out though.)
Friday, May 05, 2006
I'm really sick...and tired.
I'm tired of going out night after night making myself think I'm having fun when actually I'm not.
I'm sick of not getting enough sleep...and not having enough time to exercise properly.
And I'm sick AND tired of the current situation I'm in.Even thought this isn't exactly the first time that the same thing has happened.
It's the third week of school already.And I've hardly even touched on my FYP.Much less understood or paid any attention to most of the lectures that I've attended.
I know this has all got to do with my current lifestyle.Which would definitely change for the better if only I would wake up my idea.
Someone's gonna scold me for sure after reading this post.
But I'm telling you.It's not as easy it seems.
It's really not.
Damn.
Hate my life.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
I is sad.
And what makes me more sad is that....
I can't even say why I is sad here.
........
I is really sad.
I is so sad I can only dotz dotz dotz.
I wish someone can 'sayang' me.
:o(
"老是爱上不该爱的人，心中当然满是伤痕。"