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Been watching America's Got Talent clips on Youtube recently.Found this really amazing so decided to post it.Needless to say.There'll be more to come.Enjoy.
Friday, July 28, 2006
I'm currently staring at the screen of my labtop.
Wondering what I'm doing at home on a Friday Night.
Nope.I'm not broke anymore.
And nope.Someone did ask me to go out.
I haven't been abandoned by society.
Hah.
Eric,Red and Vernia are probably singing their asses off at some ktv.
And this is gonna be the first in a long time that I'm not joning them.
Somehow,I simply didn't find the idea of ktv appealing at all tonight.
And this in itself is already very strange.
However,that's not the main reason.
The real problem is the recent episode with the house's female ogre.
Really wanna avoid clashing with her.
NOT BECAUSE I'M AFRAID OR WHAT.
It's more like I'm too lazy to wanna go into a confrontation.
Still.Something's wrong with me though.
Not wanting to go and sing.
........
It's gonna be my Semestral Exams in 2 weeks.
Needless to say I'm totally not prepared.
Or rather,should I say I didn't have time to start preparing.
The past few days have been spent rushing projects and reports.
Life was so damn hectic and repeatitive....
That I didn't realise just how bored I was feeling sub-consciously.
Until this very moment.
Honestly.I dunno what I can do to entertain myself.
Before I begin tearing my hair out.
I've recently finished the last anime series that I haven't watched.
So there's kinda like NOTHING to do at all?
Not in the mood for studying
Yet.
..................
Talking about anime.
The name of the one I just finished is called Jigoku Shoujou.
Or Hell Girl in English.
This anime is damn interesting and though provoking I must say.
Firstly.It starts off not having much of a storyline.
Becuase every episode is a story about a different person.
The theme is similar however.
There is always an oppressor.And a person being oppressed.
In short a bully and a victim.
Now if the victim wishes to take revenge against her oppressor.She'll simply have to access the "Hotline to Hell" at midnight and enter the name of her oppressor.Once she does that, the Hell Girl will appear in front of her and give her a straw doll with a red string tied around it's neck.Then, she'll begin to give her famous lecture that she gives in every episode to he person,telling him or her how she can help exact their vengeance on their oppressors but at a cost.And that is if they ever decide to send their oppressors to hell and untie the red string, they'll enter a contract with her and how when they die, their souls will be brought to the pits of hell as well.
Well.When I first started watching the anime.
I really thought the way the Hell Girl spoke and the words she used were really cool.
"When one person is cursed.Two graves are dug."
I mean.HOW COOL IS THAT?
BUT.After listening to the same words over and over again for about 15 episodes.
I almost wanted to send e ole girl down to hell myself.
LOl.But that aside.
I felt that this dark anime really teaches people something.
And that is vengeance only brings about pain and suffering.
Despite what one may think.
But.The more important thing is.
Deliberate cruelty is unforgivable.(Kudos to Street Car)
Do not ever torment other people.
Be it for enjoyment or for self protection.
Because I can tell you.
Retribution is very real.
What goes around comes around.
You definitely reap what you sow.
Even for the free thinkers out there.
Believe in karma.
And.An interesting thing to note is that.
In every episode, the victim still decides to pull the string in the end.
Depsite knowing the horrible consequences.
You may argue that this will only happen inside an anime.
But I really think otherwise.
What...is becoming of our world?
May God have mercy.
On the degrading human condition.
............
Man there really is something wrong with me today.
I seem to be really "philosophical" today.
Bored to nuts I guess.
Well.Before I end off though.I'll leave you guys with a sentence from the anime.
As a reminder.
"Pitiful shadow cloaked in darkness.Thy actions cause men pain and suffering.Thy hollow soul drowns in thy sins."
"How would you like to see what death is like?"
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Hello everyone.
My name is Chua Kok Keng.
Most people will know me as Neo.
Oh yah.I can't go home after one.Cause my mum says so.
I'm 22 going 23 this year.
Currently a struggling student at SP cum part time admin personnel at Echo Music.
And my mum is dead serious.She locks the house door at 1am.
Recently.I've been thinking a lot on what I'm gonna do about my future.
Foe example.
What I'm gonna study in Uni.
Whether I'll have the ability to start my own business.
Will I end up working an 8 to 5 job earning a miserable job?
Recently.I'm beginning to get pretty pissed off with this door locking nonsense.
I definitely do not wanna take back te same course that I'm currently taking.
Computer & Netowrking Technology....is definitely not for me.
Or rather.I really suck at progamming.
So bad that I can't see myself having any future in this field.
Therefore.I'm definitely doing something else in Uni.
By the way.Did I mention my mum is a werido?
One good example.
Going for a jog at wee hours in the morning = acceptable
Going out for a brief supper after 11pm = locking the door
So far.My results have been ok.
Going to Uni shouldn't be much of a problem.
But for me.This degree is just a parachute.A lifejacket.
That saves me from drowning.Or falling to death.
In the end.I wish to own a business of my own.
Like I said.My mum is a weirdo.
Therefore her logic is kinda...illogical.
And recently....she's become really unreasonable.
So much so that it's becoming a little unbearable.
But what kinda business I wanna go into.
I seriously have given quite a bit of though into it.
Yet I've been unable to come to a conclusion.
I guess this is what happens to every Jack of all trades out there.
They can't master ANYTHING.
Before I forget though.For those of you who dunno my mum well.
She likes to threaten me everytime I dun do things her way.
Before I began earning my own keep,she used to threaten me with my pocket money.
Now.Since she can no longer do that.She chooses the "prison" method instead.
And I'm really getting kinda sick of it.
Especially after the number of times this has happened recently.
Well.It's not that I dun wanna master or specialize in something.
It's just that.I'm someone who gets interested and bored very easily.
Therefore I'll jump at any oppotunity to learn new stuff.
Yet at the same time.The new stuff will soon seem old to me.
I mean.What can I do?
In her opinion she's always right.She never compromises.Never listens.
And definitely never gives me the benefit of the doubt.
She'll always choose to condemn me instead.
Well.One thing for sure though is that I definitely love music.
Which is why I'm enjoying every moment that I spend working at Echo.
Especially the times when I've to help Chirs look after events at Chinatown.
Not only can I learn how to configure and manage sound equipment
Which is something both new and interesting to me.
I can also enjoy the fantastic performance put up by the unplugged people.
What's more.I can earn a salary at the same time.
I mean.What other job can be better than this.
Who can have a more "supportive" mum than me man?
And what's worse.My dad isn't that much better either.
Amazingly though,he's the exact opposite of my mum.
Not caring about anything(execpt the cost of the utility bills).
Very seldom at home.
And hasn't really bought anything for me before or given me money at any ocaasion.
I mean wow.
With parents like that.Who needs irritating neighbours.
Therefore.I definitely have no plans to switch jobs anytime soon
Because such a job is almost impossible to come by in this era.
One that I can enjoy and earn money at the same time.
However.As enjoyable as it may be.
Everytime I start looking at my friends around me.
Either working full time already or graduating soon.
I begin to feel that life is actually quite sucky.
The paycheck of a part time job.Can never compare one of a full time.
More importantly.
It's getting so bad recently.Thoughts of moving out have began to surface.
But of course the first issue at hand is $$$.
Since the beginning of time.
Freedom has always comes at a great price.
Which is why if things continue to get from bad to worse.
I'll really have to start planning for this solution.
Everyone around me has either entered their adult stages or were entering.
Seems like I'm the only one still in the larvae stage.
Sheltered within my tiny little comfort zone.
Not realising just how big the world is out there.
And what are so many of the things that I'm missing out.
Why.
Why did I "wake up" so late.
I feel that.
Only if I move out will my parents be able to understand me a little better.
And respect me more.Which will definitely result in a much better r/s b/w us.
Haiz.
I hate my life.
And my door locking of a janitor mum.
...................
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Frankly.
I've lost count of the number of times I went to the toilet today.
Damn it.
Hate being sick.
Anyway.Been frequenting this ktv pub known as Dungeon recently.
Went there yesterday too.
But kinda regretting it now after all the toilet trips.
Maybe it was the lack of sleep.(Had to wake up early today.)
Or maybe something was wrong with the beer.
Either way.
I think I'm gonna be staying at home and not go out for a LOOOOOOOOOONG time.
Firstly for my health's sake.
And secondly.For my pocket's sake.
Really really broke this time round.
I gotta start managing my finances better from next month onwards.
Afterall.I wanna try and start saving money for my driving license soon.
Really need to get on with life.
Seeing all my friends entering the working society while I'm still struggling with my damn diploma.
Argg....Life really kinda sucks right now.
Even though it has never really been that good in the first place.
Anyway.Been reading this really interesting book entitled "The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-Time" by Mark Haddon recently.
The author is really creative and daring in my opinion.
Looking at the world through the eyes of an authistic genius.
And not even attempting to remotely write his novel in the conventional way.
Just writing the way he chooses to.
Way cool.
Recently.I'm beginning to feel that people often take for granted the people who really care for them.
Instead they choose to devote their attention to people who doesn't even give a damn about them at all.
This especially applies to me.
And despite how much I think.
I can never figure out why I'm like that.
I guess the word Oxymoron was created for me.
And something's definitely wrong with me.
........
Ouch.Gotta go toilet again.
Chat later guys.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Actually.
I've known all along that.
I'm a procrastinator.
And a very serious one at that.
Deadlines that I can avoid or delay.I would do it.
And that wouldn;t be so bad if it was only just deadlines.
The problem is.
I procrastinate just about EVERYTHING.
And I guess I must be sounding like a real moron for just talking about such a big problem instead of trying to do something about it a long time ago.
Well.I did say I'm a procrastinator.
Nuff said.
Though of course it's nothing to be proud of.
Especially since.It seems to be the primary reason why I can't see m to answer when people ask me this question.
"What you gonna do in future?"
I mean.Ever since I was young till now.Whenever people ask me what my ambition was,what I planned to do.I would always say.
"Dunno.See first."
In fact.I never gave much thought about it.Thinking all the while that the future was still far far away.
Unfortunately.It's no longer that far away anymore.
3rd year in Poly.Approaching graduation.
Gulp.
After that comes university of course.But the fucking problem was.
I DIN KNOW WHAT I WANNA DO IN UNI!
These past 2 years in DCNT have thought me one thing.
Programming is not for me.
DEFINITELY.
So.What am I gonna do?What course am I gonna take.
And then after that.What kind of career am I gonna go into?
What do I wanna do with my life.
Suddenly.I find myself really lost.
Not knowing what to do.Not even knowing what I want in life.
Now.I can no longer afford to be clueless.
What do I want to do with my life?
All this while.The only thing I ever knew that I ever wanted in life.
Was individuality.
To be different.To be unique.
To go against the rules.Or tradition.
And anything that may bound a person.
What people condemned.I supported.
What people disliked.I preferred.
Dun get me the wrong way though.
I'm not like anti-social or being rebellious on purpose or waht.
It's like.I just choose to see things in a different light.
Or rather.My principle of "Innocent Until Proven Guilty."
Yah.I guess most of you out there would probably understand what I mean.
It seems like.Human beings are becoming more and more bounded by the rules of society.
Something that may have been perfectly harmless.
Once it's defined by society to be harmful.Then it was.
When everyone is insane.And you're the only sane person.
You become the crazy one instead.
Ironic?Yes it is.
But back to what I was saying.
I always chosen to do things in a different way.
Which some people may argue that it is stupid.Or that it doesn't make me any happier.
Or whatever.
However.All that doesn't matter.
As long as it's my choice.I guess no one has the right to stop me.
Especially since I always ensure that the decisions I make only affect myself.
Again.Some people may argue that they'll still feel affected in one way or the other.
Or that my actions can be pretty selfish.
Like I said.
I've chosen to do things this way.
So I fully accept all the consequences that come along with it.
Including criticisms and disagreements.
It's not about being happy or not.
It's just me.
..................
Anyway.For now.
After all that reflection.
I suddenly had an inspiration on what I wanted to be for the time being.
Just for the time being.
I wanna be the first Ah Beng Scholar.
"What Lim Pei wants.Lim Pei shall get."
As for the future?
"Dunno.See first."
I told you.I'm a procrastinator.
And that's me.