{Underneath the Stars.

Saturday, March 31, 2007

1:23 PM

Have been hearing so much about Stephanie's new song Ni Guang lately.(That includes you Jon).Anyway after so long,I finally got my lazy ass off the chair(not literally of course) and checked it out on Youtube.

First Play - Hmm....kinda boring and repeative song.Though the music is VERY her.Nice location for an MTV though.

Second Play - Hmm.... some strange sort of way.The song starts to take shape in my brain.I dunno what the hell that means but basically I think I began to get the feel for the song.

Third Play - Hmm....I was wondering why the MTV looked so dejavu-ish and suddenly I realised that her Feng Zheng MTV kinda gives the same feel as well.

Fourth Play - Hmm.....I actually played it mor than 3 times.Guess I'm starting to like the song.Either that or I just have no idea what song to listen to next.Well.Whatever.

Fifth Play - Ermm....Enough said ba.The song's cool!

Anyway.Many thoughts were running through my mind when I was listening to the song so probably I just didn't wanna bother changing the song.Which was a good thing because I realised that this song,unlike most songs which people will "Yi Jian Zhong Qing" with,needs to be listened to several times before you will begin to appreciate it.

That aside though.I think recent events have really made me realised just how superficial the word "friends" is nowadays."Besties"."Brothers"."Buddies."Clique".Whatever you call it.Well.Some of you may argue that no,you're wrong,there is true friendship in this world,and that you're saying that just because you're a miserable fucker without any real friends.

Ok.Whatever ba.So what if I am now.But let me tell you this.I had good friends.And I still do.I've lost friends.And I've gained them back before.Which is why all the more I can reassure myself that my theory right.In the end.There is still the undeniable fact everyone are friends for three things.

Convenience.
Company.
Benefits.

When a group of people enjoys a similar activity e.g. drinking,karaoke or clubbing.They can meet up week after week after week just to do the same thing.Even if it is absolutely repeative.And then,everyone will become so called buddies or whatever.But as we all know.Human beings get bored easily.And after a while, some people will begin drifting away.And these people will be labled as "betrayer" "bang seh" "buay sui" or whatever.Most probably getting condemned or bad mouthed.

But the stange thing in the end is that.The group evenually still breaks up.Irony?
No.Human nature.
Convenience.
When everyone likes that and I do too.I dun mind joining them.But when I don't.It's time to leave.

People on the verge of breakup,just broken up or has just suffered a rejection, or simply just single.They like to meet up and talk about their problems with their "brothers" or "buddies" or go out for drinking,clubbing or other activities together.They may do this week after week after week without fail.But once they get attached or get back together with their ex or is busy with dating..They begin to neglect the group and start meeting up with them lesser and lesser,sometimes not because they want to or ahve a choice.Again they become condemned like the people above.Being lablled various names like "chee hong" "got girl no brother" etc.Anyway this obviously applies to girls as well.

Again.We see human nature here.
We all hate being lonely.We need company.In whatever form it comes in.
Before:Haiz.No girlfriend le.So lonely and sian.Think I call them out pei me.
After:Haiz.If I go out she sure not happy de.Think I sms them tell them I can't make it.

People always appear to be so perfect online.Beautiful,good looking,rich,stylish,intelligent,happening.You can become any of these when you're online.Just edit your picture with Adobe a little or a lot,add a little flowery lanaguage or bombastic words to your profile.And just wait.Definitely there'll be "fishes" attracted to you.And thus people become good friends,buddies brothers or maybe even have relationships close to real life couples online.But in the end.Nobody is as perfect as what they appear to be online.So,I guess most ppl will arleady be able to guess what happens when good friends online eventually meet up in real life.Basically reality hits them and they dun really last.Nobody enjoys the company of ugly,fat or poor people.This is a sad fact of life and will always be true.Maybe you're not that realistic a person and you wun mind being friends with such ppl.But how about being them becoming your other half?Or your "clique".I'm sure most of you would hesitate about that.

As usual.Human nature.
Benefits.
I got something to gain from them.I don't mind being friends with them.If I got nothing to gain..maybe just "KIV" or entertain them for now ba.They'll probably become useful later on.

........

Hmm...call me a bastard but I really think think that is how the world works.There are no eternal enemies,or forever friends(cliche i know).There are only people who give us the three things above and people who do not.Hmmm..Anyway think I rambled enough.Time to go back to work.Later.:P

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

1:02 AM

I dunno why.But this song just moves me each and everytime I listen to it.

And only this song.

In fact.Listening to this song kinda helped release me from my recent emo state.

Because it made me realise....in the end it really doesn't matter if you can be someone or not...or if you're already with someone...whether you guys will last or not.In the end..as long as the moments spent with that person were truely the happiest in you life.Even just one single day would be enough.As the title of the song puts it.

"I just wanna live a single day with you."

Sunday, March 25, 2007

2:16 AM

Date:25/03/07
Time:11.37pm
Location:Some flat in a HDB block in Toa Payoh in Singapore

MSN conversation with PG:"There were 2 people I loved most.One was my ex-gf who was with me for a while after she broke up with her gf.Even though eventully she patched things up with her gf and I obviously was just a substitute,I never regretted it.The other one was him....after you.Even though at that time I was back with L and he had a gf,we still went out together as if we weren't attached.But in the end.I left him because I chose to be with someone whom I think will alst longer."

Honestly.The hurt and emo part was long gone.But it really hurt my ego that I couldn't even compare to someone like him.Or them for that matter.And oh yes.It's thanks to you I've changed so much btw.In a good way.Seriously.I learnt....nope I mastered the art of letting go.:)

SMS from HK(20/3/07):"I feel that I'm not good enough for anything.But I've always hoped that you'll be happy.You're someone really special to me whom I really treasure.It's the kinda thing which sometimes even I dun understand.And yup.At least now I know you'll be happy.There's soemthing to be glad about at least.:)"

SMS from HK(Today):"I hope you dun feel awkward after the sms I sent you that night.Just treat it as I was drunk."

..........

At that time given not much of a choice.I had to move on.I moved on.And I've already moven on.Just that I feel what is the point of the 1st sms after I receive the 2nd?Reminding how much of a fool I was and trying to make me a fool again?I really dunno what and how to comprehend the meanings behind the messages.

Seriously.WHO WRITES THIS SHIT?!
Things like that can happen together within one day.
And somehow.I got a real feeling that somesort of similar predicament like the ones above is gonna be "blessed" upon me REAL soon.And before any member of the great old justice league or whatever lone ranger vigilante fighting the forces of evil(me obviously)begins to punish my tagboard again even though it's probably unlikely.I'm still gonna say this.

My actions.Unexpected consequences.Still gotta deal with it.My blog - Whining Haven.

Sigh.I need a cigarrette.

P.S. All actualy initials of names have been changed to protect the identities of the parties involved,which in case any reader's intelligence out there belongs to the league of Light and L manages to figure out who they are.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

2:38 AM

Seriously....

I MEAN SERIOUSLY.I think the tagboard nonsense has really gone far enough.
Honestly.
WHATEVER LA.

I only wanted to vent MY frustration on MY blog.
Is that too hard to ask for?
I had no intention to mention any names.
Or even refer to ANYONE for that matter.
SO IS IT MY FAULT THAT PEOPLE TAKE IT SO PERSONALLY?

For the last fucking time.
I'm gonna say this.
No sympathy needed from ANYONE.Not blaming ANYONE.
No ARGUMENT with ANYONE.At least not on my side.
MY ACTIONS.MY CONSEQUENCES.MY LIFE.COMPLAIN ON BLOG.STILL GOTTA DEAL WITH IT.

CLEAR ENOUGH?

...............

Maybe there is one thing that is correct though.
This time round.I really can't be bothered.
ANYMORE.

Monday, March 12, 2007

11:28 PM

Results of my final semester in Poly.

Ya ya.I know it's been out for eons.Only just remembered about it.

Well.All I can say is I really slacked this last sem.
Which was really a waste.As my gpa really dropped drastically.
If only I've worked harder.

But.What's done is done already.
Now can only hope for the best for the Diploma With Merit.

Really looking forward to a new life in NTU or NUS.
I hope.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

2:56 AM

LOOK.

I am not seeking anyone's sympathy.NOR DO I NEED ANY.
What I feel is.In life you win some.You lose some.

I dun think there's any right or wrong in this situation.

So if anyone from the "justice league" feels otherwise.
And does not agree or like what I write on MY blog.

Just dun read.Simple?

Jeez.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

3:42 AM

Fucking funny tio bo?