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I've kinda sorted out my thinking today.Somehow.
Anyway,came to the conclusion that it's pretty useless crying over split milk.
Fact : Gig was over.
Fact : People have commented.Both good and bad.
Fact : Failed to appreciate the good comments.And got demoralised by the bad ones.
Decided Course of Action : To stop emo-ing and move on.Like I've always done so.
Thus.It was with this simple train of thought that took less than a min to formulate that I finally freed myself from the frustration of my crushed ego.Anyway.I finally know where I went wrong exactly.So I shall do what I can and not get angry over things that I can't.And that is to make sure I dun repeat the same mistake again.Afterall..if a perosn does not take take constructive criticism the right way then that person will never learn.Or improve.
I feel happier.At last.
Of course.This is also thanks to all the friends who gave me their reassurance.Who were there for me when my morale was at it lowest.
Love you guys.:)
Anyway.Shall post some of the photos taken at the gig below for those who couldn't make it.Enjoy.
Some group pictures.
Time for some individual shots now.
Geist totally engrossed with his drumming resulting in a candid shot.Lol.
Xiang looking extremely Toshiya-ish.Cool.
Davin with Japanese Warrior Aura literally oozing out from him.Ooooo...
Jessie and Xiang.Awwww....how couply.:P
Kenn and Claris.What can I say.Best looking couple I've ever known.
Last but not least.Geist and Xiang making a fool of themselves.And really succeeding.-_-"
The End(Corny but necessary.)
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
I've learn that.
There always comes a point of time when a person's ego..which is ever growing constantly..will get burst all of a sudden.Either by an event or a person.Or many people for that matter.
My ego's just been crushed.Completely.
Which ain't necessarily a bad thing.Let me explain.
First things first though.To everyone who came down for the gig..whether you managed to catch the band's performance or not..I would like to say a big thank you to you all.You guys are truly supportive and super "on".In fact...you guys are so on I can remember everyone one of you who came.Firstly..Jessie and Angeline.Thank you bestie...you're really just too damn supportive le.You went for the previous gig and you came down for this one too.Thank you so much.And of course.Thanks to Angeline for accompanying my bestie so that she wouldn't feel alone or left out..even though I doub she had that kinda problem.:P.Next.Twiny and Jasmine..even though you guys couldn't stay till the end I still very grateful that you guys came down.Especially Twiny's friend who came down just to accompany her.Thank you so much.And of course not forgetting Simon and Jacob and friend.Sorry to hear that your friend wasn't feeling well and had to leave first.Also..davin's group of friends...I'm sorry I couldn;t remember everyone's names and also...i know you guys were there to cheer for Davin more la...but still wanna say a big thank you for coming down all the way to watch the band.You guys rock..And of course..last but not least.How can I forget the super on buddies of mine and friends.Chunmeng,Pauline,Wendy,Cynthia and Alvin.Hope our performance made all you guys' trip down worthwhile.And of course..we had a lotta fun after the gig as well.Heh.Really enjoyed myself drinking with you guys.So cheers to that too ya!
Alright.
Now that I've thanked everyone.Back to business.In short.The gig was actually rather good.With rather positive response from the crowd as a whole.In fact I would say the best and most response on the whole compared to the other bands.This is especially surprising since the band before us (not gonna be named for sensitive reasons) was super technical and nothing short of the word "best" as they're reputed to be in the chinese rock scene.Therefore the response we got..even though mostly thanks to the supporting fans and friends who came down was kinda surprising.Also,I was rather impressed with our showmanship that day...and kinda satisfied with my voice that evening even though there were a few occasional hiccups here and there as commented by my friends.So on the overall I was rather happy with our performance de.
Until...reality hit me later on.
It's kinda funny...why people would rather hear good comments that doesn't really help them improve than bad comments which are the ones that will tell us what went wrong and teach us how to improve.Anyway.The thing was.I had an msn conversation with my guitarist last night.And oh my...Was it an ego crushing one or what.he told me how he felt...which after hearing I kinda had no choice but to agree totally.
Comments were :
Our band is good, got lots of potential but unpolished.
A lot of loose ends.Playing not tight enough.
Stage presence is entertaining but not professional enuf.This refers primarily to me.
Vocalist got good vocals but lack of control and expression.Also sounds very ktv.
And all of a sudden.The good comments seemed to have gone with the wind.And didn't really matter anymore.Just looking at the comments.It's obvious who's the one draggg the band down.
It's me.
And all along.I've been living in self delusion that I was a rather good vocalist compared to others because I've improved from being a KTV singer to being a real vocalist ever since I joined the band.I even thought I would help bring the band to greater heights.
Wrong wrong wrong.And know why do I say self delusion?Because all of a sudden I realised that all along.Deep down.I KNEW ALL THE PROBLEMS MENTIONED ABOVE EXISTED.Vocal control and expression...stage presence needing fine tuning etc.But I had been so blinded by the excitement and proposal of performing on stage that i neglected such problems of mine.Or rather I should say that..I subconsciously put aside the existence of such problems so much so that I've forgotten about them.
And now.I've woken up.At last.And I can tell you..it hurts like shit.To have your ego burst.Seriously.But that is also the only way to make someone realise that his current world is limited..and should go out and explore further.Meaning that...this is the only way to make me improve.If I had remained stubborn and choosen to ignore such unpleasant comments.Yes.Probably I wouldn't be feeling like the shit I am feeling now.
But.It also means that I would never improve.And continue living in my own delusion.
Now.I gotta look for someone to give me proper vocal training.Even though it's really not cheap to do so.Hopefully I can find a kind soul who wun charge.Lol.Which is quite impossible I guess.So wish me luck ya.
I swear.I'm gonna make people eat their words.One day.
But for now.I'm in emo mode.
Haiz..Later guys.
Friday, April 20, 2007
The past week has been healthy lifestyle week.
No beer.No fags.No late nights.(Except for exercising.)
And well.I'm already feeling the recovery process.Which is good.:)
Well.Seem like everytime before a gig I'll become super health conscious.So as to keep my voice in tip top condition for the big day.Actually come to think of it.If the band had gigs every other week.Then I'll become super healthy.-_-"Hmm.Good goal to work towards to.
Hmm.Looking at it this way.Vices such as beer and fags are more of habits rather than addiction.Habits that you develop when placed under suitable conditions or at suitable locations.Like pubs and clubs.So basically the best way to cut down on such vices is to cut down on going such places.To totally give them up would of course make life so damn boring...so..the better alternative would be to cut down and limit such vices to once in a while.Which not only helps the pocket.But also makes it more fun.Yup.Believe me...clubbing everyday is NOT fun.
Tha aside though..lots of things to be done before the gig.Like getting my damn eyebrows trimmed..a haircut(maybe only cos i think i starting to bald liao:<)And time to get some powerful hair spray to style my hair the way i WANT it to be.The damn Gatsby Wax like not very useful loh.Zzzz...Also..new outfit needed although most probably only getting a top cos seriously broke till next week...(see la pub somemore la!)Of course.Not forgetting the jammings tmr night and Saturday afternoon..argg...everything is so packed till Sunday.And Mr Davin still wanna go happening sia.Dun think I'll be going or else voice sure cui one.And lotsa misc things blah blah blah.This is gonna be one hell of a busy weekend for me.
And all that aside.With Echoloft's opening due June.I would finally be having a change of job from my current supreme ultimate undefeatable boring paperwork life.Which I'm really looking forward to.haven't done F&B in a while le.have to say it is definitely much more fun than what i doing now but more tiring of course.Well.You win some you lose some ba.Actually at one point of time..I did harbour ideas similar to Chris about working at the cafe full time as I had no idea how much chance i had of going into uni at that time.Things are very diff now of course and I'm obviously going for my degree no matter what.Unless the band really takes off to that degree.Otherwise..And of course..speaking of Uni...the damn NUS registration that's been bugging me...i really must stop being so nua or else I sure tio hong kan if i miss the damn deadline.Not to mention that I haven't reached a decision whether or not to stay in hall.Argggg...busy busy busy.
Oh ya before I forget.The band's gig would be held at the House Of Rock (83A Tras Street near Tanjong Pagar MRT) this Sunday the 22nd April at 7pm.So if anyone reading this is interested in going..which btw is free entance of course..do sms me or msn me.I believe only people who know me personally would read this blog.:P
Gosh it's so late already.Time to hit the sack.Night everyone.
Seeya guys sunday ya?Pretties please...*winks*
As for LivEVIL.Ready or not guys.It's time for our resurrection.Let's hit em bad.
Real bad.:)
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Hmm..
I think my life is starting to change for the better at last.It has been another tiring week at Phillip again with the long hours doing literally "Paperwork".Checking page after page of figures to ensure they're correct.Damn.Now I'm glad I din choose accounting as on of the courses for NUS.
But well.Boring it may be but at least it's stressfree and doesn't require too much thinking.Guess everything has their pros and cons ba.But that aside.At least working ehre for the past month allowed me to pay back my long overdue debts.And even allowed me to go out very often for the past few weeks.It really does feel good to be debt free and having money to spend.:)
Also.In a ridiculous turn of events..the band actually started becoming closer for the first time since we lost our drummer.In fact,the bonding of everyone has reached a level never ever thought possible before.Davin and Kenn have actually started bonding with one another and have displayed perfect cooperation during jamming.Which was much to me and Xiang's surprise.Not that we're nto happy or what.Just enver thought it would be possible.Even Davin's been warming up towards me as well,jioing me to go drinking with his buddies for the first..and mind you..were they a whole lotta fun.Thanks man bro.Let's go for another round after this week's gig.
And yes.The band's finally having another gig at last.This time it'll be at the House of Rock this Sunday at 7.30pm.Do sms me if any of you are interested to go down ya?Really hope to see more crowd then last time la.Heh.Therefore,because of the gig,it'll be jamming jamming and more jamming this week for me.Also.Guess I'll have to stop all the drinking sessions for the time being.Besides,with Ryan in reservice..and the rest of the gang busy with their work,the sessions would have to stop temporarily anyway.Gonna miss boat quay for a while.:(
Ahh....the letter from SP came at last at well.I got a Diploma in Merit!So very happy because that's what I've hoped for since the very first day I started Poly Life.Mum's more or less in permanent good mood as well because of the recent surprise so guess this is gonna help improve her mood further.Now I am King.ROAR.Heh.Now just hoping to get something special on Graduation Day or else I think everything'll be pointless.Lol.
But all those aside.I really gotta start saving up for my license already.It's gonna cost a lot so i guess I would ahve to work much mroe overtime after the gig to earn enough for taking lessons.Mum's been breathing down the neck about this so it can't wait.And With all the registration shit from NUS needing to be settled..I think i'm really gonna be busy for a while.Argg...I wanan go sing with Jess again..Kudps girlWe did well that night.Let's do it again real soon ya? *winks*
All right.Guess I've ranted enough for now.My lunch break's almost over.Time to get back to Paper Work.Cheers!~
Friday, April 13, 2007
Wednesday was a memorable day.
Mum actually smiled for the first time in a long time.
As in a genuine smile of APPROVAL.
She was happy because I actually did something that pleased her.
And not something that she'll most probably say Wu2 Liao2...or Mei2 Chu1 Xi4.
I simply can't find words to describe the feeling.
It's like..her mood has been so good since then that I actually kinda wish she started scolding me again.I mean..Really.-_-"
Ok.I know that the way I writing makes it seems like I won the Nobel Prize or something.Well.Actually it's seriously not that great a deal(and I meant this sincerely.)Something that I took a very long detour to go about achieving.3 whole extra years actually.
I finally gained entry into University.Nus to be exact.
I mean.I wun try and be a poser and all that say that I dun feel happy at all or whatsoever.Yes.I do feel happy.But you know the kinda feeling...after so long...some stuff just seem less exciting already.Although I dun deny the fact that I can't wait for the time when I start life in NUS la.
But then comes along the ultimate dilemna.All along I never considered the possibility of entering NUS..so I've pretty much decided on going to NTU.But now..with this surprise I'm kinda lost at wat I should do.In fact..I'm getting the strange feeling that subconsciously..I've already changed my mind and decided to go NUS instead.Whethere be it to make mum happier or the fact that NUS is better I dunno.One thing is for sure though.
I'm really kinda lost now.
Anyway..that aside...the band's gonna jam tonight...wonder if a friend is coming down to see us.Heh.Damn curious how she looks like.:P
Till the enxt entry.Adios.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
I've been playing pool a lot recently.
Played it with Jeremaine after work on Saturday.Then again with Shiwei and Jill on Sunday.Followed by Or Ki at Dungeon on the same day.Although one match doesn't really count I guess.And yesterday,despite having not slept since Saturday,I was itching for pool again after work.So went down to Parklane for the third consecutive time in a row.Think the auntie see me also sian sia.Lol.And well.I guess I figure out something during these few days.Wanna improve your accuracy.Just keep playing everyday.After a while you'll find that you can get a feel.Or rather "see the line" as what the pros say.
Somehow I got a feeling that tonight I'm gonna be playing pool again.O.O
But that aside.Meeting the WLNY gang tonight for drinks and talk cock session.As per normal la.Lately everyone seems to be quite on.Or rather..I would say everyone has been unattached for a pretty long time.That's why so free to meet up.LOL.Just trying to support what I said in an earlier post.But oh well..at least everyone still meets up even if no girls are joining in.(Or put it in a lousier way.No one managed to get any girls to come out.-_-")
Well wahtever it is.I suppose the WLNY gang has kinda become my regular clique for now.Even though there's like absolutely no strings attached.Everyone meets up only when they can,and whenever they can.Well.I guess Jon was kinda right in that I really do like such groups of friends.Even though it some may argue how close a grp of such friends are.Me and Ryan they all would of course argue aginst that but I guess I shall leave it at here though or else history gonna repeat itself again.:)
Anyway.Actually quite looking forward to the weekend now as the band's gonna be jamming twice this week.One with Geist on Friday(hopefully things change for the better or else it may be the last)and another one with Winston who is a new auditioning drummer.He seems to be pretty enthusiatic so kinda looking forward to meeting and jamming with him.Was telling Kenn that really hope this would be the turning point of the band and that we would finally be able to concentrate on making music fully instead of looking for new members all the time.Zzzz.
As for work.Feeling kinda pissed off recently but can't really say anything now cos I'm blogging in the office during lunch.:P So shall continue the post when I get home later.That's it for now guys.
Tata.
Friday, April 06, 2007
This has gotta be one of the longest fridays I've experience since I started my 7 day work week in March.
Moreover..it's supposed to be a 'Good' one eh.
.......
Ok that was quite lame but honestly I dun really care.
On the other hand though.I got a chance to pay back a portion of the humongous sleep debt that's been piling up since my hectic work schedule started.It's like...work,drink,sleep,work,drink,sleep,work,drink,sleep.Ya>You get the picture.
Actually.I kinda realised just how difficult it is to not go drinking after work ever since I started on this job as a full time temp.It's like...you're so dead tired after work but yet..you just dun feel like going home ya?Cos you know when you wake up the next day..it's gonna be the same boring cycle again..and again...and again until weekend approaches.
Sigh.
Kinda starting to miss school life already.And it's been barely a month since I graduated from SP.Really miss those carefree days whereby the only stressful and boring time is the period before the exams.
Hmm.What's worse.Things in the band ain't exactly working out pretty well either.Even after getting a drummer already..we're still ahving problems as the drummer ain't exactly adapting to our songs very well.He's a nice guy with lots of variety in his beats..but somehow...he just dun seem to be able to sync wiht our songs.Maybe the simplicity of our songs' rhythms caused his creativity and variety to backfire instead.Ironic huh.Just hoping he'll be able to prove us wrong at the next jam.Which may be the last with him if the situation still doens't improve.
And.Kenn kinda said something today that I felt was a bit unfair to me ba.In the midst of a heated argument about the existing drummer..he kinda assumed that I was so anxious about going for the next gig which was coming real soon because I wanted my friends to come watch ME.In all honestly..ever since I joined the band..I dare say that...I've always had only one thing in mind.And that is...fly WITH the band.And crash WITH the band.Meaning...it's with the band or nothing at all.
Maybe I haven't been put into a situation whereby I can take flight myself.But I'm still pretty confident I'll stick to my principle because honestly I feel..as an individual...I am nothing.But if everyone in the band works hard.We are invincible.
Call me naive or what.But I have absolute confidence.In EVERYONE.
Anyway.It's 5am.Enough of my rambling too I guess.Time to sleep.Night.